SKYROCKEEEEETTTT!

yeayuh thats gunna be my life in the next couple of weeks.

waaaatch out motivation comin through baby.

hahahaahha maybe im delirious right now.

i really wanna:

get back into reading my Bible and journaling every so often

WORKOUT!

&start ebaying and wholesaling again

bam bam bam

GO TO A COLLEGE I WANT TO!

gunna listen to John Piper preach tomorrow at church....hmmm hopefully a good blog is coming soooooooon.

adjusting

Been livin in Seattle for almost half a month now? I think I'm over the whining. I still miss Cali like no other though. I guess I can't do anything about it but move on now. Slowly transitioning. Almost moved in my new room. Hangin' with the cousins and fam everyday. Checkin out colleges. Applied to Bellevue College. Found a church. Signed up for a Bible study. I'm ready to get out there and explore my new life!

valentines

This years Valentines day was filled with spending time with the family and coming back home to the one and only Savior. The past couple of weeks haven't exactly been the best, but the hardest transition for everyone in my family- especially for me. Harsh words were yelled that probably shouldn't have been said,countless arguments have gone down that went no where, and stupidity has shown at its finest through all this anger. But besides all that, I guess nothing can separate the love no matter what. Putting all that aside and having a vday lunch over lechon kawali and sinigang always brings us together ;) haha.

Even though I didn't get to be with my "valentine" today. That was fine with me. Being away hasn't changed my love but it has made me stronger. Its crazy how certain things lead you to paths that you think you would never take but end up needing it. There's never a day where I can't help but miss you so much till it hurts. There's never a moment where I catch you off my mind. Distance has pushed me even further into not wanting to let go. I know what's best for me and I still don't listen. There's just something that my heart can't tear apart with. Memories running through my mind are just breakin me down every single day. Wonder if time will tell, or we'll just fade away, or if you even think the same way about us.

-----------------------------

Speaking of Love. What more could I ask for but for another chance. I know I've blown every single "re-do" at life You've given me. I've screwed up so many times and yet here I am still running back to You. God, your all I need.

Christianity is not just a belief, its a lifestyle also.

Once you've believe in Him, its either all or nothing.

And people don't seem to understand that, including I.

The apostles walked away from everything once they followed Jesus.

Could I really do that if I had to? Leave my family, friends, job, school, EVERYTHING?

Just to follow Him?

If I proclaim to be a Jesus follower, I better be one.

I can't be screwing around like this.

People think once they believe- they can do whatever they want.

Its straight up and simply no.

So here I am saying...God I want You.

My life is yours, not mine.

Use me for your glory and set my fire ablaze.

realization:

awakening

awareness

culmination

effectuation

fulfillment

understanding

waaaay too much thoughts on my mind to even blog about.

wish i had someone to vent to.

I wish you here by my side...in the mean time- I'll be waiting.

When life feels like a nightmare you can't wake up from, hah it pretty much sucks.

miss

I don't think anyone really understands what I'm going through.
Sitting in my empty room. Leaving the past behind. It's making me
realize how the house is really worth nothing and it's the family
that's in it. I think its crazy to think how I cherished every last
moment I had with the friends I won't be seeing so often anymore.
Life is short in general so I suppose we should live life like that. In all of
this, I guess God is always going to be the One who doesn't change.
The one person who never fails and the someone who's always gunna be
there no matter what. This part of my life is done I just need to
accept it....maybe not move on...but never forget and accept that new
things are coming into my life and be thankful for what God has
allowed in my life.

I've realized in the past several months who my true friends are. The
ones who'll call me just to see how I'm doing. The ones who try to
keep and mend our friendships and the new ones that'll always be there
for me....even states apart. Together or not it's always gunna be the same.

No idea how but before I left I managed to fall in love. Seems like nothin

else matters when I'm with you. In this short period of time
and as crazy as it seems I still don't wanna let it go. And as much as I
don't wanna admit this, its probably the one thing thats pullin me back
from accepting this move.

legit.

"

I call shotgun because I am the type of girl who with be right next to you through the worst and the best rides of your life. I call shotgun because if something were to happen, I would be right there in the front with one hand before me and the other will be used to protect you. I call shotgun and instead of blowing smoke into your quivering lips, I pass nothing but the good type of love. I call shotgun because there is no one else who is willing to do what I do for you. I call shotgun because baby, I am that ride or die type of woman. I just hope you know that once you call shotgun, it’s a guarantee spot right next to me. I am not the backseat and passively-let-life-go-by type of girl. I will not follow you from behind. Right next to you is where I will be. So what do you say? As for me, you already know. I called it. -

Shotgun.

"

thinkin

"When you have to say goodbye you just gotta believe its because you're about to say hello to someone new."

I haaaaaaaaate goodbyes & i hate change.

I wonder what rest of this year is going to be like.

alive in this moment - starfield

- It's been so long since I have met You here

Since I have said these words or cried these tears
And like a child would come I run into our secret place
And as the music fades, the tears are rolling down my face

I am alive in this moment
In this moment I am found
I am alive in this moment
In this moment I belong -

Its kinda weird how music can make you realize certain things at the exact moment you need to hear it.

Its been so long where I've been in that place with God. That intimate, close place where I just let go and spend time with Him. Happy or sad -those tears haven't been rollin down my face. My journal pages are empty. Its been so long where I've felt 'alive in that moment' and I want it back. I don't understand how everything seems okay when its not. When your heart isn't right with God, I don't think the rest of your life fits into place.

Surrender.

cause in my eyes, you'll always be mine.

Livin life awake, because you make reality better than dreamin'

Feelin as if we're both standin on top of the world and can conquer anythin.

Every moment of every day your on my mind,

When it kills me knowing I'm gunna have to leave us behind.

Its only for awhile, don't wait up cause time will tell.

In a blink of an eye, you'll be mine and I'll be yours again.

If I only knew that the future would lead me back to you,

Then I'd get up and go and stop reminiscing about our first kiss.

Cause the way you make me feel when I'm with you,

is nothing compared to this.

All the what ifs and maybes goin through my mind,

I'm willing to risk it if you'll stay mine.

We can make it through anything and everything,

cause thats how we do.

Proven and lived, our relationship grew.

Into something better than love, two lives intertwined.

Fallin and fallin into something deeper,

I can't explain, but to wait it out and save what we have.

'Cause you make me feel like I could love again,

when I thought this would be the very end of me.'