A Breath or Two

I find it interesting how God plans certain things to happen at that exact time for you to hear him.

I was just thinking about how insanely fast summer is going. I just feel as if there's not enough time to do anything. Let alone figure out my relationship with God and actually sit down to spend some time with Him.

At that exact moment, Jimmy Needhams song - A Breath or Two came on. These are the lyrics...

" I'm tired of putting one foot in front of the other
I'm weary of where it leads me too
I'm tired of moving on from my Father
Make me rest my head and take a breath or two. "

Hmmm coincidence? I think not.

random thoughts

i'm definitely procrastinating on preparing my world civ study guide.

i'm DEFINITELY tired of my two online classes.

i'm worrying that i won't be able to pay for last semester of school let alone the down payment of fall 09 semester.

trying to lose weight is stressing me out, but i reeeeally like the cardio/weight classes at the gym :)

still annoyed with everyone in juneau....but i kind of enjoy working at the store.

the last 2 weeks of sun has made me happy :]

i miss california, but this summer is going by too fast?

afflictions

Sometimes I just wish I could go back into the past and change some things. Then again doesn't everyone. I hate feeling like this. I feel so guilty feeling so down, when I really shouldn't. I just can't help it, and its one of those days where everyone annoys me. I wish I could just vent to someone that could understand. I miss everything and I wish everything could be perfect. I miss everything I thought I had.

Amazing how I ran into these quotes after I wrote this blog.

"Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind." cs lewis

"Some people feel guilty about their anxieties and regard them as a defect of faith but they are afflictions, not sins. Like all afflictions, they are, if we can so take them, our share in the passion of Christ." cs lewis

- - -

edit #3 : I've come to the conclusion that I put too much value on this earthly life.

I have finally been to my first official youth group in Juneau. It was a pretty basic message, yet sometimes its the simple things in life we forget. correct? It definitely reminded me how we don't have time to complain about our life if God is in it, because what right do we have to complain when there are people who don't have Christ in their life at all?

This message really hit me because I've been dealing a lot with this personally. If you know me, you know I'm really not the person who will call someone for help or someone to cry to. Rather, I'm the person who everyone comes to for advice. I guess I don't really feel worthy of being the one to complain. I have this image where I'm portrayed as the stable friend, and always will be. I sound like I'm complaining that my life is stable, but I suppose in reality I really should be taking the time to really thank God for the life he has given me. I feel very honored :)

[sometimes i just feel kinda lonely on this side of the friendship. i can't always be so strong, and sometimes i just wish that their was somebody i could count on for encouragement :/ ]

Other than that, I can't believe I don't even go to church here. I thought it felt great to fellowship with other believers tonight though. Its been over a month without hearing a sermon or singing with a worship band. Although I don't have a home church here, I think it has taught me not to be one of those "Sunday Christians" as they call it. Someone who just goes to church on Sunday to get their weekly dose of Jesus and goes on with the week. It has definitely taught me that I can keep a relationship with Jesus just with my daily life worship.

A life without Christ is not worth living.

All I want is someone to count on. Is that too much to ask for?

So I was planning on scrapbooking all my pictures this summer but I haven't really had time. Then I thought - Whats the point of it when my 'best friends' aren't going to stay friends with me in the next couple years. Hahah how emo, but shoot its so true. Anybody out there willing to stay a loyal friend? Because I've yet to find you.

On a happier note, I've been so busy with work, online classes, karate, plus my gym and rock climbing memberships :] so that should keep me busy for the rest of summer. Annnd I really hope I go to Seattle in July, its time for a little break from Juneau. Except my $6,000 college bill might stop that -.- great and thats only finishing off the first year. Another $30,000 for sophomore year woo hooooo. Biola...I better make you worth it.

4th of July next weekend :D Juneau will be poppin holla.