What ifs

So there I was packing my room away. When all of a sudden it hit me. I'm actually leaving the place where I call home. Happy Maricris. Finally broke down crying face down on my bedroom floor. It's not all the memories I'm going to miss. Because I feel so lucky and blessed to even have those. But it's all of the what ifs and what could have happen if I stayed here? I feel as though everything I had in mind for the future just went down the drain. Like I'm missin out on the life I was suppose to have. I feel so blind to where life is going to take me this year. Walkin' on thin ice.

I suppose this is the time where I should give up trying to do what I want and give my life to you huh God?